It was first thing one Tuesday and I found myself sadly penning an email I wasn’t expecting to be writing. It felt important to …

… write and yet I wasn’t quite sure how to start.

… express emotion but with a client that’s always a bit harder. (After all I’m normally in service of their emotions on programmes and in coaching, not the other way around).

… stay positive and so I needed to prioritise that in my day. (I did it first).

It was, as it turned out, about the end of an era. Which is exactly what I called it. So, this blog is about endings, how good are you at endings?

I had received the news one of my favourite clients is making a strategic shift and as a result halting two of the fabulous programmes I’ve been helping them with for the last four years. It almost would have been easier if the business were concerned or in any way unhappy about the programmes, but that’s not the case.  It’s an exciting new direction, they’re meeting a global shift for consistency and leaner resourcing and it’s impacting every part of their business, including learning. I’m a business person, I get it. It doesn’t stop it hurting through does it?

Often we close things off in our business world before our mind and body have time to work it through. In Gestalt language we’re talking about the importance of ‘closure’. It’s that investment in some essential things which allow us to engage positively in what is coming next.

So I moved to ‘closure’ which for me involved…

  1. Sitting with the news overnight, without judgment – Give yourself a break, step away from self doubt or feelings of guilt. TIP. At times like this I find it easier not to talk to people about. People’s golden intent to support you often results in them telling you what’s bad or rubbish about what has just happened, which of course welcomes judgment.
  2. Moving to reflecting about what has been good – Make time for appreciation, it will lift you and invite positivity.
  3. Letting new data emerge, noticing and labelling what comes. It could be in the form of ideas or feelings about the separation.

At the end of an ending do try to ask yourself to notice the ‘white space’, don’t freak out, look for the resulting possibilities that it could bring.

If you’re working through an ending (or avoiding one currently), stay ok, it’s part of how we survive in organisations, communities, relationships and I belief life.

If you have more to share on how you manage endings I would love to hear so please do comment below.

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